Modern Love

The actor Alan Cumming is not the man his father wanted him to be. Growing up, Cumming says, his father had specific ideas about how he should look and what he should do with his life, ideas he enforced with abusive violence. However, Cumming tried to stay true to himself: As a teenager, he hid clothes to change into after leaving the house, and he found joy in playing the piano and later at drama school. As an adult, Cumming tried to forget the past. But after getting married, settling into a home and beginning to consider fatherhood for himself, he started to reckon with his childhood, and realized he needed to start over. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Cumming shares about what happened when he finally broke free of his father. He talks about how his past caught up to his love life, why publicly identifying as bisexual is important to him, and what he hopes to pass down to a new generation of queer artists. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay, and how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe…

For most of her life, Kelly McWilliams has felt as though people aren’t seeing her clearly. Kelly is biracial, and she was raised to be proud of her identity: she grew up surrounded by African American culture and literature. But when she walks into a room, a lot of people perceive her as a white woman. And when she does tell people she’s Black, the situation can get uncomfortable, even scary, very fast. On this episode of “Modern Love,” McWilliams tells the host, Anna Martin, about the ways her mixed-race identity has affected her relationships and her work. Kelly’s new book, “American Nightmare,” is about a Black man who passes for white and ends up working as a spy for the N.A.A.C.P. The idea of being a spy, of entering spaces and situations without anyone knowing your true identity, is very personal for Kelly. But, she says, after years of being mistaken for someone she’s not, she has learned to be loud about who she really is.

Explore the trials and tribulations of love in these deeply personal essays. A collaboration of The New York Times and WBUR in Boston, Modern Love: The Podcast features the popular New York Times column, with readings by notable personalities and updates from the essayists themselves. Join host Meghna Chakrabarti (WBUR) and Modern Love editor Daniel Jones (NYT) -- and fall in love at first listen.